


Bluebird

by tearyroseate



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, I just want to write Jay angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jay Walker Angst, Jay Walker Has Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Ships may be added - Freeform, So sorry king, Suicide Attempt, Tags to be added, Vomiting, also?, but THATS not graphic, i keep watching sky bound and I refuse to believe it was easy on him, like a lot, perhaps a treat, probably, sorry about that, tempted for the sweet sweet bruise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29492883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearyroseate/pseuds/tearyroseate
Summary: Jay felt at ease for the first time in weeks as Nya pressed her soft, gentle hand against his cheek.The two came down from the sky after they shared a kiss, a little dramatic for them seeing as it came from no where. They seemed so desperate, to which the others wouldn't understand, because they don't remember.When the two pulled apart from the kiss, the horrors of the last month of his life flashed before his eyes. It was like a bull had slammed its head into his brain, and suddenly every vivid detail was tormenting him.
Relationships: Cole & Jay Walker (Ninjago), Cole & Lloyd Garmadon & Kai & Nya & Jay Walker & Zane, Nadakhan & Jay Walker, Nya & Jay Walker
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	1. Strange is the call

**Author's Note:**

> Should I be writing another chapter fic when I have unfinished stories? No! But here I am because I just want to write post skybound Jay Angst 
> 
> This work isn’t Beta’d and i suck at making fixes so if I made a mistake, oops!

Jay felt at ease for the first time in weeks as Nya pressed her soft, gentle hand against his cheek.

The two came down from the sky after they shared a kiss, a little dramatic for them seeing as it came from no where. They seemed so desperate, to which the others wouldn't understand, because they don't remember.

When her palms pressed against his freckled cheek, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The second he locked eyes with her, he could feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh Jay..." she whispers as she watches the first tear fall from his blue eye.

"Nya I-" he chokes on his words as the tears begin to fall from his eyes and his breathing suddenly becomes harder to control. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Nya." Jay her into his arms, pressing his face into the crook of her shoulder.

"It's okay, it's okay." Nya says, wrapping her own arms around him, she quietly repeats "okay" over Jay as he continues to apologize through his sobs.

Nya fights her own urge to cry, she wanted to be strong for Jay this time because he's been so strong for all of them. Either way, she was still reeling from the fragments of memories that were suddenly going through her head, she doesn't think she could truly cry. Not yet.

The rest of the team stood on billboard just as exasperated as Dareth who stood in a helicopter next to a camera. 

"Did I... interrupt something?" He asks just loud enough for the team to hear.

Nya looks up to find their shared kiss being projected onto screens everywhere. Jay picks his head up at this too and see's, naturally he's horrified. He wipes at his tear stained cheeks as he tries to stand on his own. The sudden throb of phantom pains overwhelms him. A sharp stab in his eye, a blooming throb over his leg that was forced to drag around a weighted ball an chain. His entire body ached, and the last month was suddenly so clear in his mind. 

The water ninja feels the young man shake in his arms like a leaf, she doesn't fail to notice the way he looks horrified at his sudden display of affection was broadcasted across ninjago. His eyes were wide with horror.

Of course she doesn't blame him, she knew he had just experienced horror after horror. Jay was overwhelmed. They needed to go home.

By the time Nya came to this realization, the rest of the team was already surrounding them. Worry was displayed on all of there faces.

"What's going on?" Kai is the first to ask, bending down to his sister. Call is sibling intuition, but he knew something was wrong with his sister.

"We need to go home." She runs a hands through the ginger locks. "Now."

With the help of Dareth, the team find themselves back on the bounty with little delay. Wu is surprised to find them team back on the ship, not asking about Clouse because like the rest of them they didn't believe he would be a problem anymore.

A strange feeling.

Their attention now was on the blue member of the team who couldn't seem to find his his footing on the ground. The sight of the bounty made him pale, the team didn't miss the way Nya whispered to him "It's not misfortunes keep. He's not here, you stopped him. He's gone."

It didn't stop him when they finally managed to get inside that he didn't hesitate finding his way to the bathroom where he promptly threw up nothing but bile, and dry heaved between his sobs.

Cole and Nya sat by his sides. The earth master was confused as everyone else but his best friend was suffering, he wouldn't stand around idly just to watch. 

Lloyd stands in the door frame, Kai sitting on the bath tub edge, Zane standing beside him, Wu and Misako were behind the green ninja.

"What's going on." The young blonde master asks, worry lacing each word. "Please, what happened." He knows something is wrong. Why else would his brother react in such a way to nothing.

Nya bites her lip as she rubs her hand over the back of the young man who shook over the bowl as he tried to grasp reality. "It's... it's hard to explain..." she throws a worried glance to Jay. "Can it wait. Please?"

With hesitation, he complies as does everyone else.

They wait.

The first night was the hardest. In the shared room, Jay wakes up screaming, panic wracks his small frame. Zane reaches to his friend to console him in his panic, where he was met by a harsh blow to the chest with his foot.

"Get the fuck away from me."

Jay never looked so scared.

They stayed up till dawn until he was able to relax. 

For the first time, Wu let them sleep in.

The first week went the same way, each taking turns to sit by Jay's side as he displayed fear like they've never seen.

Nya, who slept in a separate room, was informed of this after two days.

She looked heart broken.

After a week passed, Jay showed no signs of recovering.

No one wanted to ask.

It wasn't until it was a week later that someone finally decided to intervene.

The group was cleaning up dinner. Wu, Misako, Lloyd, and Cole were sitting at the table idly chatting as the rest were cleaning as it was their turn to do chores.

Everyone's attention was pulled to Jay and Nya, who were washing dishes at the sink. The sound of a plate shattering against the floor, as the two stared at each other.

"I don't care! You need someone Jay!" Nya yelled, staring at the other.

"And I don't care, just please stay away from me." Jay's voice is raised to match the volume. "I can't let you get hurt again Nya, I can't." 

"I can take care of myself Jay, YOU'RE the one who's hurting right now!"

"I'm the reason you DIED! I do nothing but hurt people, I let everyone get killed, everyone. I can't let that happen again it's all my fault!"

"Jay it's not—" she's cut off as the master of lightning pushes her away hard.

"Don't touch me." 

"Hey what the hell man?" Kai walks his way over to the bickering duo.

Before anything more can be said Jay goes to the closest bathroom with his hands pressed over his ears, and locks himself in.

Kai goes to chase after, but Nya stops him grabbing onto his shirt. "Kai dont." 

"Don't?" He watched as tears fell down her cheeks "he hurt you, he fucking made you cry."

The grip on his shirt tightened "Kai please, he's hurting too."

Reluctantly, he takes a deep breath and is noticeably less tense. "Fine. But you have to explain what's going on with you two."

"Tomorrow, I promise."

Later that night Cole stops by the bathroom door on his way back to bed after getting a midnight snack. Thank god for their being extra bathrooms, they're closer to the shared bedrooms anyway. 

Inside, he can hear Jay who still is holed up inside. "It's all my fault." Is muttered between his soft cries and gasps of breath.

Rather than going to bed, he waits outside. As a ghost he hasn't needed sleep for a long time, it felt nice to him. It gave him a reminder of when he was human. So he slept because he could.

Now, he was grateful for this ability. Staying awake until could hear the gentle breathes of the young man who's finally relaxed behind the bathroom door. 

Cole made sure that the ninja got to his bed, thankful that for once that his slumber would go uninterrupted.

"Alright Nya, spill."

The team assembled in one of Wu's spare meditating rooms, everyone gathered together (save for Jay who's chore for the day was conveniently grocery shopping, so he'd be out for a good while) as they waited for the water ninja to explain what had been tormenting the two.

"With full disclosure, I don't remember everything that happened. Just..... pieces of a puzzle."

With that, she explains the order of events. The framing, the imprisonment, the crazy djinn, pirates, everyone being taken away, Jay bringing them back...

"And I was hit with the venom. Obviously I know Jay made his final wish, I died so I don't remember what happened. But..." she takes a deep breath "whatever happened to Jay on misfortunes keep, is stuck with him. I remember in the lighthouse he was hurt, bad, but.... I don't know what happened to him." She wipes away the tears that fell.

Silence fell over the room as they processed what their friends had just been through.

"I knew something was wrong with Jay but..." Wu was the first to break it. "To imagine this had all happened I..."

Kai stood and held his sister close to him, Cole follows just behind to wrap the both of them in a hug as well.

"How are we going to help him?" Misako asks.

Nya's eyes widen, panic setting in. "We can't tell him I said anything!" 

"Why? Jay needs us clearly." Zane rises, as he looks at the water master. 

"Because, he already thinks he's the weakest. If he knew... I can't..."

"We won't say anything." Cole says softly. "We'll just support— both of you through this."

Nya hums softly, maybe things will get better.

They don't.

Jay insists he gets a private room separated from everyone else, it feels like they rarely ever see him anymore.

He spends most days locked away in his bedroom or showering under scalding water until his skin turns bright red. He only shows up when it's time for their meals, but even then he rarely sticks around for long. The food on his plate, even on nights it was his favorite dish, he simply pushed the contents around with a fork after a few bites and left.

Before he at least put up the front that he was still the same old happy Jay, who cracked jokes and smiled and laughed no matter how things looked.

That person was now gone, just an empty shell of who he used to be.

His skin was paler, it lacked any sort of color to it. Even those cheeks that always seemed to have their pink tint had disappeared. 

Blue eyes that were vibrant, as the very element he controlled, were now dull and lackluster.

Only two weeks had passed and everyone wondered if that old Jay was ever coming back to them.

One of the many nights when Cole would spend his time sitting outside the bathroom, he heard something peculiar.

The sound of the bathtub running, so he stood and waited outside.

Then there was the sound of faucet turning off, Splashing, then silence.

Without waiting he knew that the quiet was too much. He couldn't touch water.

He didn't care for the noise he made, he screamed for everyone to wake up.

Nya and the others quickly made their way to the bathroom as Cole used his strength to break down the door in front of them.

They weren't too late, the young man's body was underneath the water that was hot enough to surprise Kai that someone like Jay was laying under it.

Nya got the water out of his lungs, he spasmed end coughed as it did.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Cole stared at his best friend, unable to touch him no matter how bad he wanted to because he was soaking wet. 

Jay's skin was tinted red, his breathing was uneven and he wore nothing but a white t shirt and a pair of boxer briefs.

Cole wanted to hold him, he wanted to take him into his arms and never let go.

"I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry?" Kai stands up, his brow furrowed in anger.

"I'm sorry...."

"I don't want to lose you Jay." Nya picks up his torso, she starts to cry. "I don't know what you went through, I get it but you can't just leave me behind. Talk to me Jay, this isn't the Answer, just tell me what's going on."

"I just want it to stop... it hurts so much." Jay's curly locks are pushed back from the water, a few stray curls plaster to his forehead. "I'm useless, I'm worthless. I was good for one thing, and now look at me? I can't... I can't do anything and he's there."

"Jay..." she pulls him close. That's all she can do for now, and that's okay.


	2. I could use a canary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were superficial, they'd fade away with time.
> 
> He didn't even get hurt, he can still breath so why is he so hurt now?
> 
> Sliding down to the ground, he presses his head against his knees.
> 
> Just a little canary, in a home full of eagles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never update this fast LMAO but I’ve been working on this fic more because it’s much easier for me to come up with ideas. Writer’s block? Cured. Hopefully I’ll find inspiration with my other two, guess I’ll have to wait and see

The sensation of his calloused hands drift across his soft, freckled cheeks. Nightfall was upon them, and the gentle light of a full moon bathed the deck in her soft glow.

The light Emanated through the blinds of the captains private quarters, the only other light being the orange washing over the room.

Wide blue eyes stared into nothing in particular, only trying to erase the presence of the djinn who currently held his face. He hates how tender it was, it was in a way that he reserved for one person in his life; USED to reserve.

Certainly not for him, not Naddakhan. He was certainly last on Jay's list of people who were allowed to touch him like this.

Yet here he was, exposed before him laid down on silky sheets. His underside burned, his body ached everywhere after being used like he was nothing. 

He wishes desperately that it would stop but given that the last two weeks often ended the same, he knew it will continue.

Wake up after barely sleeping, eat stale bread and drink water if it's offered, scrub the ship; when evening rolls around he gets to breath while everyone else on ship gets to have their full meals. He can make sure his wounds aren't infected, and if they are all he can do it make sure they're at least covered. His bones are set back in place and his now missing eye isn't bleeding. Sometimes it'll burst, and when it does, it's hard to get it stop.

After dinner, the pirates have their game of scrap and tap, which gets easier every time they play. They go until Jay blacks out or is on the verge of such. Where he is dragged to the Pirate Djinn's personal room and he's filed away of any pride he has left.

Sometimes he wants to wish it away, when the villain was set on making him wish it away he was a man of his word. Never has someone used such vial means of torture against any ninja. Someone must be evil and so desperate to resort to such a method. Who was he kidding though, Naddakhan was a pirate.

But he held that wish close to him, that last wish was all he was because he was right. The djinn knew he was the weakest point. Jay had to prove for once he could be strong, so he holds that close to his chest.

His mind became a fortitude against the pirate, but the torture he went through was relentless. If almost two weeks of Persistent agony wasn't enough, he watched his friends slowly disappear from him. Then, he let Nya die. He is the reason she had to go through the pain of losing her life. 

And he couldn't forgive himself for that.

The feeling of large hands gripping the fabric around his ankles and pulling them back up in their proper place felt so real in his memory. "Flintlock, take him back to his cell."

Jay's entire body ached as he forced himself to stand, it shook as he walked.

Flintlock seemed to show a bit of remorse for the ninja. It didn't do wonders for is self esteem either, pity from the enemy.

He heard the rattling of keys as his door was locked followed by the sounds of boots against wood fading away.

His entire body went limp, suddenly relaxed as it was now free of any threat, for now. The closest thing he could get to sleep for the last several nights was spacing out, let nothing feel real.

Jay woke up with a sharp gasp as he fought to find his breath. Instinctively he slaps a hand over his mouth to quiet himself. 

Check, his friends were close to him. Check, looking down on his ankle he rotates it seeing the ball and chain were absent. Check, he could see the picture of his parents racked up on the wall of his bunk. He was safe.

Taking a deep breath, he relaxes against his pillow as tears still falling down his cheeks.

It's been a week since his little... mishap in the bathroom. Since then they've been more active in spending time with him, making sure he eats full meals, and that he returns to the shared room. They ask him sometimes. And Honestly he's refused to talk about it with anyone, they walked around him like they were on eggshells anyway.

He was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Given his display of emotions over the course of the last month he doesn't blame them. Constant panic attacks, self isolation, followed by his failed suicide attempt; it was like they were waiting for him to do something.

What though?

"You're nothing to them... don't think I haven't noticed the way they treat you. Just a weak, scared little blue bird who can't hold his own."

His hands pressed up against his ears, it didn't do anything because his stupid silky voice continued to echo through his head. 

"Try as you might to resist me, they're not coming for you. They don't need a frail bird like you. Even if they did... what would they think of you? You didn't fight back against me, and as I recall vengestone isn't even there to hold you back." A chuckle, deep within his chest escapes the Djinn. His hands trace around his body like he was following a road on a map. "Who could want you? Filthy thing."

Jay jokes back the sob that threatens to leave him, as his fingers tighten in the curls on his head. 

Sitting up, he throws his legs over his bed. He stomps his foot three times gently on the floor, a custom he's started as a reminder to his body that he wasn't carrying that weight anymore. 

It didn't do much, but it lessened the limp he still had when he walked.

With silence in every step and creeps his way to the upper deck of the bounty, watching the sun as it barely peaked over the clouds.

While on misfortunes keep he had one thing that he could say was "good", and that was the sky. Despite spending so much time in the sky, he never took the time to appreciate the natural art that it had to offer him.

Most morning he spent while mopping he could stare at the rising sun, followed by evenings where as he was guided to scrap and tap he could see the sun set behind the clouds. It was the only beautiful things he had in those moments.

It was grounding, being able to see that those skies he felt at peace just like he did while in that horrible place.

Temporary comfort was good for now, it was the best he could get.

"I didn't expect you to be awake so early Jay."

The lightning ninja jumps, turning around where Zane was standing in the door frame.

"Zane! You scared the shit out of me! Didn't think you could be so quiet, don't sneak up on a guy jeez." 

"My apologies Jay. I am a ninja after all." He walks up to the railing, standing next to Jay as he also turns to lean against the wood posts.

The two stood in silence watching as the sun inches her way into the brightening sky. The wind blew through the sky, shaking the his auburn hair. Clinking can be heard as the polls holding up their flags and sails have loose rope connecting to metal pieces hit against each other creating a symphony of percussion.

They were flying near the seaside of ninjago city, gulls were gliding close to them calling out to each other. The low hum of the bounty's thrusters keeping them in the sky went throughout the sky.

"Well." Jay starts, breaking the silence between the two suddenly drowning out all of the other sounds. "You can ask whatever it is you want to ask."

Zane hesitates for a moment, he taps his thumbs together. He opts to look out at the clouds decorating the horizon. "I don't wish to pry, but I want to tell you some things. Seeing as we really haven't had a chance to properly talk one on one since... this all began."

Jay flinches as the ice master says "this." A reminder that they really didn't have a clue to what was happening.

"I understand." Zane looks to his close friend, sympathy distinct in his glowing, Cyan eyes. "Well, not exactly what you're going through. But feeling like no one else could understand what you're going through."

He continues. "I'm not sure if you feel that way, but you won't talk to us. I just need you to know I understand that lonely feeling you get when no one else has gone through what you have. I've died, I've been rebuilt again and wiped of every memory I carried. I understand that it feels like no one else is ever going to understand..." he inches closer to Jay, careful not to touch him given how he's reacted before the last thing he'd want to do is hurt him at this moment. "When I started talking about how felt with others, and sharing my experiences... I was finally able to heal."

Zane see's the way Jay has his eyes closed. He looked tense. His brow furrowed as he listening to the nindroid.

"I don't expect you to let everything out now, not tomorrow, or even months from now. I just don't like seeing my brother hurt and suffer in silence. You're not alone Jay."

Careful eyes studies his friends as he finally moved. With caution only seen in small animals.

Small hands slowly worked their way towards Zane. He remained unmoving as Jay's hands felt the sides of his torso, eyes flicking side to side as he studied every feature of his face. It was as though he was checking to make sure he was real, he wasn't a trick.

Zane was always unique, even with his new model his skin despite being cold and made sounds similar to hard metal, he was soft. He always felt like a real person, he was built to protect others so it made sense he guesses. Physical comfort was just as important. 

Fingers grazed around his back, followed by the company of arms, then a head heading against his chest.

Jay holds Zane tight. Other than the one he and Nya shared on the building, this was his first hug since then.

Bitter, salty tears built up in his eyes. Closing them he can feel the droplets fall down his cheeks. Not far behind, more continued.

Something about the way his friend touched him back felt so pure and good. His family loved him, that maybe they did care about him and he would get through this.

"You are mine blue ninja. Who will want you when I'm through?"

The memory of Naddakhan suddenly surfaced in his mind, his entire body quivers and phantom hands were suddenly all over him again, and he felt sick. He felt dirty. He felt worthless.

Maybe he was.

Pulling away from his Zane was like losing the warmest sense of comfort he's had in months. Which says something, considering the ice master was constantly colder than everyone else.

But Jay didn't deserve that comfort, he was disgusting.

He continues to shake as his hands rub up and down his upper arms. Avoiding any sort of eye contact, putting a decent about of distance between them again. "Thank you Zane I... that means a lot to me."

He starts turn away. "I'm going to shower now before everyone else gets up, don't want all the hot water to be used up by Kai, hah!"

"Jay."

Jay stops in his tracks, picking his head up only as to signal that he's listening.

"You're like family to me, you know that right? I love you."

Zane has seen the faces of broken people all throughout his life. In his years of travel before becoming a ninja, even as a ninja he would find people of various ages who had been through hell and back. Any inkling of hope seemed to be washed away after witness destruction the way that they did.

Small side jobs would often lead to some people who dealt with the everyday problems of ninjago, would just have the life drained from them.

As much as he's seen that, it's hard to believe he's ever seen a look like that on one of his own brother's faces.

But when Jay turns back to look at Zane, he see's the face of someone who had just lost everything in his life. It was as though as saying something like "I love you" was the same as taking a knife to his chest.

The blue ninja frozen, tears ever so exposing fell down his face without hesitation as his breathing picked up.

He turned back, taking in a sharp breath, his hands visibly shaking. "Thanks Zane, I um.... lo... I... I'll see you later." 

Jay climbs into the shower and turns the water up, it's hot. It's scalding hot water. It burns his skin just enough to leave a tinge of pain behind as it bounces off his flesh, but not enough that it'll leave visible burns on his skin.

The spray hit against his back, he stared at the white walls of the bathtub.

Using a bar of soap, he scrubbed away at his skin.

He rubbed and rubbed away, trying to erase the feeling of Nadakhan's hands from his body.

Desperately Jay wanted to feel clean again.

Zane said they were family. That he loved Jay.

They're all lies.

He wouldn't go out of his way to talk to Jay. His friends, they care about him.

You're a burden Jay, don't fool yourself. You bring inconvenience with you no matter where you go. Now they can't even care for themselves first, you weren't strong enough to fight back. You're just a weak little bird, fly away you can try but I'll clip those wings little by little. I'll always win My little Canary.

Jay's back hits up against the bathroom wall, his towel wrapped around him as the shower continues to run filling the room up with steam.

He cries, fuck, who was he kidding. It was out of guilt and pity, Zane didn't have to help someone like Jay.

Zane was strong, he kept moving forward and never like what happened to him stop him. Jay? He can never amount to that.

He'll never be an equal on the team.

His sobs break free from his shaking body as he glared at himself in the fogged mirror. Using one of his hands, he wipes away the water staring at his own reflection.

The scars given from endless torture were still present on his skin.

They were superficial, they'd fade away with time.

He didn't even get hurt, he can still breath so why is he so hurt now?

Sliding down to the ground, he presses his head against his knees.

Just a little canary, in a home full of eagles.


	3. This strange man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before she’s even given a chance to say something, Jay is already walking up the stairs into the bounty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating a fic?? TWO fics??? In two days??? SHEEEESH okay, this is a treat

Given recent events, Jay has avoided training and missions as much as possible. Usually saying he was sick, or he had something more important that he had to do. Of course, that wasn't true in the slightest. Often he was left to his own thoughts, which in retrospect likely did more harm than good.

But the thought of having to spar made him sick to his stomach. He knew it was only a matter of time before Wu would persist that Jay returns to his lessons, and of course he doesn't blame the old master. How could he know what was going through Jay's head?

Still, now he was here sitting on the deck of the bounty sailing on the water, just off in the horizon Ninjago city could be seen. This was a bit more comforting at least, in his time on the pirate ship it had never once floated on the water. Although it was subtle, the gentle sways of the ship atop the sea was nice. A gentle reminder he was safe at home, Jay was in control.

Sunrise exercises had gone well, the calm stretching and meditations were truthfully nice on Jay's aching body where the phantom feeling of his injuries still lingered. The team was also just as excited to see their team member joining them again. When he'd walked out onto the deck, the group had given him welcoming words and expressed their joy. Kai had even given him a set of two thumbs up and his typical cocked, toothy grin.

It felt so normal, for a moment Jay felt like things were coming back to normal. He wasn't allowed to have that though, it was never that simple.

Once the sun had risen into the sky shedding her light across the land they were starting their sparring.

Due to the limited space, they would each take their turns fighting one another, separated into pairs. Jay, was not happy with this. One by one each duo went up to fight, Wu would give notes once one of them were pinned, and the next set would go. Him and Kai were the last two go, not that it mattered when, but the fact he had to go at all.

He swallowed harshly as he takes his place in front of his fellow ninja, taking his proper fighting stance.

Kai does the same, looking more worried with the fact that his partner could hardly be close to someone without him flinching away.

When Sensei says "Go." They begin. Kai strikes first, using a quick punch near Jay's chest where he blocks it with crossed forearms.

With his arms busy, kai drops and swiftly kicks Jay's legs out from underneath him.

A quick drop, Jay hits the wood floor beneath them. In most situations, They'd fall properly just as their master had taught them. He couldn't think fast enough, his eyes screwed shut and suddenly he was back on misfortunes keep during the ships "entertainment" scrap n' tap. 

His ankle was heavy. Everyone was surrounding him.

Memories flooded back as he laid on the ground, helpless to the attacks against him.

Monkey Wretch had taken him down easily, probably a pathetic sight to see. The metal primate jumped onto his chest, forcing him to release any air he had left in his lungs. A knife was picked up off of the ground near Jay's head. The blade was clearly dirty, dry blood covered it from top to bottom.

Fight back, move, do something. Jay's mind was screaming at him, but his body refused to respond. Every limb felt so heavy, picking up his arm would be lifting a freight train.

So he could do nothing to stop when the knife went straight into his eye, moving slowly once it punctured. The dull blade struggled to move through, but it did it's job.

Jay could only scream, the pain overwhelming as his ears started to ring.

The monkey had jumped off of him, the crowd of pirates cheering around him. His hands shook as he reached up to his face and blindly managed to grab the weapon in his face. Pulling it out hurt almost just as much as it did going in.

He couldn't stop the cries that left him, because it hurt so bad. The pain was like nothing he'd ever been forced to experience. 

Naddakhan appeared in front of him picking him up by his hair. He groaned as he was lifted, each hair holding onto his scalp painfully.

"You could wish this away, make every single memory you've made on this ship disappear. Physically, and mentally." The pirate's hooked hand slid down his cheek, the pointed end scratching over him without breaking the skin.

Jay only shook with fear, with rage, with despair, he felt so many emotions course through him as he stared at the djinn. His mouth refused to form a single word, but he was able to spit at the captain just barely. Drool dribbled down his chin, his brow tightening as he stared at Naddakhan defiantly. He refused, he refused to give in.

"Have it your way. There is always more." He dropped the ninja to the ground and lamely crumpled to the floor. Barely able to even make himself stand again, one of his hands covered his bleeding eye socket.

His eye flared with pain. Suddenly everything in front of him became blurred. It was like it suddenly had just ceased working. Just like before, his hand flew to his face covering it protectively.

"Jay?" Kai stands in front of his friend, his brow furrowed as he stared at his friend. The smaller boy was on the ground, arms protectively guarding his face. Noticeably, one of hands were cupping one of his eyes.

His entire body shook like a leaf, Jay looked vulnerable and more afraid than he's ever looked.

The rest of the team had appeared at his side, Cole crouched by his side and their Sensei in front of him next to Kai.

Wu extended a hand towards his face, Jay's uncovered eye widens suddenly, his hand covering both of them now. "Please! Please don't hurt me, I need to see!"

"Jay no one is going to hurt you." Cole, gently places a hand onto his shoulder.

With the touch, as gentle as it was, his entire body tensed. As he moved his feet he realized that the weight of his ball and chain was gone it was gone. 

Now it was his chance, his only chance. Jay's hands left his face as he grabbed the hand that held him. His blue iris' glowed Cyan as he stared at the ground, whoever held him now was nothing but a haze in his eyes.

With a firm grip, Jay latches onto the forearm of his "attacker" and lets out a wave of electricity flow from him into the other person.

It was almost like the lightning shocked him too, as he looked down at the person he had electrocuted. Cole laid on the ground, twitching slightly as he stared at Jay, just as surprised as he was.

For once, Jay was thankful he trained his entire life to only release enough energy at once to simply stun a person naturally, he could only electrocute someone enough to kill them if he did it with intent and focus.

Everyone around him was a stunned as he was, once he realized quickly that he was only having a flashback to his time on the boat. He hurt his friend, he hurt him he should have been better. Focused, because he should know better that he's not going to get hurt anymore.

"Cole, I'm... I'm so sorry." Jay's voice shakes, as he reaches out a hand gingerly to help Cole stand up, he himself barely able to even stand on his shaken legs.

"No no, it's okay Jay." Cole stands up himself, shaking a little as well from being shocked. "You... panicked that's all accidents happen." He knew well that this was likely a result of whatever he endured from the eradicated timeline. Whatever the pirates had put him through clearly was violent and enough for him to be pushed so far as too— he didn't even want to think about it. He had to keep quiet though, he promised Nya that he wouldn't say a word that they knew about anything that happened.

Jay's eyes widen, shaking his head and pulls his hand back."No it's not okay! I hurt you Cole, that's far from okay I should've been better I—"

Lloyd cuts him off, stepping into his line of sight "Jay, it's really okay. I know you're dealing with a lot right now, so whatever it is, you're allowed to make mistakes."

"Yeah man!" Kai puts his hand on Jay's shoulder which honestly felt like a 10 pound weight at the moment. "Whatever those pirate guys did, we're here for you."

Jay smiles for a moment, but quickly faltering. The gears in his mind that are always turning, come to a halt as he realizes what his friend had just said to him. "What did you say?"

"Um..." Kai's face drops when he realizes what he's said, he just wanted to help Jay feel better, but he slipped up.

Zane shoots Kai a stern look, then turning to a Jay to give him a look of what? Guilt? Pity? Sadness?

The ginger boy couldn't tell, but he didn't care. He looks at Nya who's standing just a few paces away. "You told them?"

Nya bites her lip, opening her mouth and closing it several times as she tries to find her words. "Jay, I—"

"You promised you wouldn't say anything." He brushes Kai's hand off his shoulder as he walks towards her.

She meets him halfway, to stand directly in front of him. Right now their heigh difference; or lack of, helps just a little. Being the same height, they look at each other directly face to face. No heads tilting up or down to make up for the space between them, they're at the same level.

"I know, but we care about you and they—" She gestures to the team and Wu. "Care about you! They couldn't stand by and watch you suffer and have no clue what's going on! I still don't even know what happening to you because I don't remember it all."

Jay's brow furrows as he looks to the side a little. His fists clench at his sides, as he takes a shaken breath. "I'm fine, it's not that bad."

"You tried to kill yourself!"

Those words cut through the air, They sat heavy in the silence that followed, because no one has mentioned it once. Sure everyone KNEW the truth about what happened that one night. Jay tried to die, he wanted to drown that night. No one would say out loud that Jay had intended to commit suicide or bring it up with him.

Nya breaks the silence. "I don't want to lose you, We went through this together and you fought so hard to survive and not give in." She places her hands on his shoulders. "Please just talk to us, we love you so much and whatever happened to you, you have to tell us so we can help you get better. Please..."

"I can't." Jay's hand wipes across his face, stopping tears that betrayed him as they started to fall. "I fucked up so bad, I barely saved anyone and I couldn't do it alone. He was right, I'm weak, I'm just a burden. Everyone is concerned for me, but it's my fault I'm even like this I don't need anyone to pretend that it's important that I'm okay. He... I let him—... I let him hurt me.”

“You didn’t let him do anything, he took you away and locked you up. That’s not your fault.”

“It is though! It’s my fault, I’m this stupid to let it hurt me, I’m the reason you died I just... I’m an idiot. “

Nya’s palm holds his cheek softly, her eyes start to water. “No, you’re not. That was Naddakhan, not you. Please tell me, what happened. You’re so important, to all of us we WANT to help you.”

Jay’s fingers trail over Nya’s that rest on his face. Shaking his head, he pulls her hand away. “I don’t deserve it, and if you knew...” they would never look at him the same. They’d be disgusted, knowing what he let the Djinn do to his body. Emotionally and physically he’d been worn down. “if you knew, I don’t think you’d feel the same.”

Before she’s even given a chance to say something, Jay is already walking up the stairs into the bounty.


End file.
